sonic yaoi hunger quench torture adventure
by Guy Fieri
Summary: ther eis trouble in sonic land. only sonic can stop the currently undecided evil force plagueing the land.
1. the night afte

sonic woke up in his bed in his house in the green hill zone. sonic was still tired from his last night of rocking out on guitar hero 3. he kicked ass on song 2. but then he ate like all of the cheetoes with knuckles and killed tails. he got better.

he exited his bed and put on his clothes he apparently has to hide his 15 inch beautiful peen. he brushed his teeth and ate his breakfast of wendy's and cocane. "god damn i'm so fast" exclaimed sonic the hedgehog cutting off selina gomez from bitching about her girlfriend.

meanwhile at selina gomez's house, selina gomez was eating food in sonic world china. this is foreshadowing for the future in the story that may or may not be wrote back in.

suddenly, there was a person on sonic's telephone device which they apparently have in sonic world. actually, sonic misread the words in his mind and the person was actually crashed throuh the ceiling and was laying on his telephone. but sonic had forgotten his contact lenses from the morning time bed thing. so sonic needed to find his contact lenses so he can see the person he was saving from outward bleeding wounds.

he checked his house and the other friends house and pockets but no so sonic was in a bit of a pickel.

sonic new he was about to be off on a quest to find his contact lense to the farthest reaches of the sonic universe earth thing. so sonic needed friend help. "hope i save bleeding man's life in time" sonic said as he posted his add to Sonic universe craigslist. and thus began a quest of sonic or thing.


	2. monsters university is a stupid movie

16 minutes after the craigslist add from the first chapter was posted, one person responded. it was knuckles because knuckles was sonic's friend on sonic universe craigslist because i think you could do that on craigslist.

57 minutes earlier, knuckles was sleeping. then he woke up and ate a fucking baby. he btushed his teeth. his breakfast was some coca puffs. he then went to the tv show managing place because he was a tv show manager and bodybuilder and voluntere fireman.

and then knuckles walked into the tv building after driving to it in his god car. he saw vector eating the tv.

"vector what are you doing" knuckles said because vector was not doing his job real good because vector works at the tv show tower thing and knuckles is the boss of that place so vector works for knuckles. "eating the jonny test" vector said.

knuckles beat vector with a dog and drove home. television is for satan. he watched his episode of sonic universe the biggest loser and cried when rosardo left. the rosardo character oc thing might be foreshadowing for the future. then his craigslist notification thing that i think craigslist has.

then the craigslist add from sonic happened. he had nothing to do for like undisclosed amount of time on his sonic knuckles ran to sonics house because he can run as fast as sonic because in sonic heroes knuckles can run by sonic's side just as fast so it is canon. fuck you.

and then knuckles crashed through sonic's hill house.

"what are you doing" sonic said. i am joining team" he responded as he was being knuckles.

"k" sonic said. and then they sat and watched the bleeding man playing super smash brothers the video game on the game cube.

also the bleeding man was invisible for as long as it is convienent for the plot. have a good time.


	3. Yeezus is a album by Kanest

rojino i think his name was was being eliminated from the worlds fattest fat people. he was sad because he was having sexual intercourse with his friend jeffery the platipus last night and they were having a relationship or something and trainer not bob was having a breakthrough on his father's suicide tragedy but now he was being eliminated off of the show the world's fattest fat people which he was on.

he was sad. "Oh no" rodjiney or something said. he was going to the dumb non changed fat person elimination launcher cannon like thing. everyone in the audience of people who will die off later on probably laughed at him.

not jill said she was sad and everyone was fucking sad for like a half hour. god damn i just want to watch my fucking biggest loser shut the hell up carla you stupid slut ass hore.

oh yeah and while the disembodied announcer was ranting rivijon was shot into space and died or something. he died. he did not join the team untill he crashed through the roof of sonic house place. he was alive again now because tinkerbell saved him from peter pan who's universe controlls the tectonic plates.

rijivinijo had a chapter of sonic and knuckles talking to him after the tinkerbell explanation chapter i guess.


	4. tink goes to anime

tink from tinkerbell the movie from peter pan the movie was in hell of sonic universe planet of the planet which sonic is on.

she was banished there by pete boy to controll the tectonic plates.

she was eaten after rivjntyernmdso flew through hell after losing the worlds fattest fat people and being eliminated and thrown through a cannon that shot him through hell.

that's it. that's the story. The earth can not shift and sonic planet will be stuck in a endless pangea. the mantle will rmain the same for eternity.

also the sonic planet was in a pangea form planet stage thing.

good chapter.

good chapter.

good chapter.

good chapter.

GOOD CHAPTER.


	5. I went geocashing today

back at sonic hill house, sonic and knuckles were eating rivivivivivivijo's dead corpse because his injuries he sustained on impact were massive. he died without having closure with his father.

"y u here knux" sanic spoke

"craiglis said ye" knux to sed

o" san sed

"u like naruto _:):):) ]] " Knux said

"yes" said fucking nobody.

and then knuckles became useless for 4 rolls because he was 2 buisy peeing on a scale replica of sanhana, the famous naruto character, 's face.

the bleeding man cought on fire.

and there was no driver at the weel.

And the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides  
And a dark wind blows

The government is corrupt  
And we're on so many drugs  
With the radio on and the curtains drawn

We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine  
And the machine is bleeding to death

The sun has fallen down  
And the billboards are all leering  
And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles

It went like this:

The buildings tumbled in on themselves  
Mothers clutching babies  
Picked through the rubble  
And pulled out their hair

The skyline was beautiful on fire  
All twisted metal stretching upwards  
Everything washed in a thin orange haze

I said, "Kiss me, you're beautiful -  
These are truly the last days"

You grabbed my hand  
And we fell into it  
Like a daydream  
Or a fever

We woke up one morning and fell a little further down  
For sure it's the valley of death

I open up my wallet  
And it's full of blood.

Said the post apoctyliptic shadow hedgehog who might be brought back in a few chaprers.

Now for a chapter about some bitch who was on disney once.


	6. keytars are fucking stupid

Salena Gomez was in her house. Naruto who was the woman Salami Gomez's bitch, brought her her fucking chocolate milk. She drank that chocolate milk quick and suculently like the bitch she is.

Salena was remenising over her dark past as a prostitut and a mafia peros in her dark drug filled past in new york. thankfully blood on the dancefloor saved her life before she found a way to kill herself with a flashlight. She became a pilot with a cast of colorful characters including a hot oversexualized bakini model who could kind of fly but god she has such giant boobs, a bear, and a white republican with no personality whatsoever.

They all died, including Salena.

Naruto then ran the fuck away because he realized Salena was a fucking ghost holy shit run. Is the bear a ghost to? Jesus I hope the bear isn't a ghost.


	7. Joy

Shadow was sad. Sad sad sad. oh god so fucking sad. he was literally crying a river and on that river was a kaiak of pain full of beings of pure sorrow and meloncolie.

Shadow was so sad he really should be killing himself but he was just so distracted by how sad he was. Silver the hedgehog from sonic 2006 the game had already done so.

In this sad post human tri state area, all were either dead or sad. Shadow stood out over a sad lanscape with sad cows of sadness roaming the fields of rust and sad afar.

Shadow was so sad he shed a golden magic tear of sad. That tear floated across the land on a sad gust of wind and tears and fell upon Rivijoooo, bringing him back to life. Saddly, he was lost in sonic universe new york because S&K were in the trush.

Shadow was so sad he stood there unmoving for 31 chapters so I don't have to worry about him. End.


	8. Long chapter

Sonic was bored because he hadn't moved in like 6 chapters or so and his legs were tired and the bleeding man really sucked at brawl so he decided to go to the store to get some wheat thins or something. Sonic kissed knuckles godnight and got in his gay pride car. He started the car.

As knuckles lay in bed dreaming of what will come of tomorow, a bunch of shit happened. First Naruto crashed through the wall and hid in knuckles's closet in fear that ghost Salena Gomez would eat him. Knuckles lured him out with NEW FLAVOR BLASTED COOL RANCH SONIC UNIVERSE DORITOES and traped naruto in a box.

Meanwhile downstaies, there was a bump and a thwarunk in the night. Naruto decided to try to make a key out of his own hair despite the box not having a keyhole, so Knuckles went downstairs to see what happened. Rjivolio was a zombie rummaging through Sonic's shit downstairs. Knuckles was far to accepting of this fact.

"Hi Reginold or something" said Knux. "He" said RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVojonio. Now they are friends again.

Meanwhile within store, Sonic was in store. He had already gotten 3 Boxes of weat thins, a fleshlight, and a sonic universe bootleg of harry potter from the sonic universe. Sonic went to check out his items when he passed by a cheese so big it was the store itself. Sonic purchased the store from the casheer and killed everyone inside of it so it would make a good vestle for their journey once you put some wheels and a motor on it and stuff.

When sonic arrived at home, he saw naruto naked on a leash and said "holy shit naruto is naked on a leash in my house". So that motivated Naruto to join the team or something and sonic had little to no reaction th the whole R guy being a zombie and stuff so he joined the team to. And the whole zombie thing was never brought up again throughout the entire fanfic.

Meanwhile in salena gomez's ghost god chastle, a ghostly figure appeared through the ceiling. Salena was amazed to see the villian of the story kidnap her. This is foreshadowing for the reveal of the villan.


	9. 100 View Spooktacular

Jeffery the platipus killed himself because he realized he was a platipus and platipuses are creepy.


	10. Oh YTPNNN

Peter Pan arrived in hell via his time monirail. When he arrived, tink was dead. "No" pete said. Tink was 4 eva dead linke in the movie peter pan. Tink was a creepy old woman though if going by hook's cannon, so pete was saying the word no about the death of rufio, the character from the rombi williams peter pan remake hook. pete sat down in the middle of th foot room that was hell and cried.

Millions of miles away, Shadow heard the sobs of a orphan. He flicked his magic god hair and in a flash of light, pete turned into spongebob from the show and movie sponegebob. Spongebob was quit peppy outside of being in hell, so spongebob exited hell and went to sonic universe mexico, where he was sure to find pat friend somewhere. Because now patrick and are roaming loose in sonic land. And spongebob is a all knowing being of pure energy so he knows where each of them are. Spongebob.


	11. Amay

Spongebob was fooled and was left out of the rest of the story, because pat was in the amy rose's house. amy rose added patrick to her collection of mutations of nature. Because here computer was dumb, she got her craigslist notification thing like 178 minutes (New York Times Estimated Time) after the message was sent.

177 minutes earlier, Amy rose got out of bed. She put on her makeup and masturbated to sonic again like she did while she was sleeping 2 times. She then brushed her teeth with sonic brand colgate toothpaste and ate a healthy breakfast of sonic munchies. This was far too arrousing for her, so she prayed to sonic the god for a while.

She probably should have been flipping her shit because she was a geologist and the band member geologist from the famous freak folk band death grips, so she should have been kino of concerned that sonic planet thing was in indefinate pangea, but she was thinking of sonic's 15 inch dick so it didn't matter.

She prayed for like two hours so then the craigslist thingy rang and she jizzed again and ran over to sonic's house to help him while still keeping up a false persona of "I Don't want to fuck sonic that hard".

"Well" Sanic said, "we only need two more members of our team before we can go save bleeding man".

Because naruto was watching the house, the team was Sonic, Knux, Rovijo, & Amy so far. If only two more people would help them.


	12. Ghostly Spooks

Meanwhile, Patrick, who is also the ghost of Silver, was in Amy's Sonic fetish lair. Due to the ghost of Silver being psychic, Patrick, and Silver, broke the chains bounding him to the wall next to a fox furry and a pile of shit. Patrick, and Silver, exited the room.

Oh yeah. Expasition. Uhh... if a character dies their ghost can enter the body of a mortal and take the mortal over but this is a rare occurance because souls only have a 1:975 chance of becoming ghosts so it is very rare and Silver got lucky and took over Patrick's body but both Patrick and Silver are sharing the same body so both can talk individually. Yeah that sounds about right.

So Patver, yeah I'm calling him that, went to Amy's kitchen and ate all her shit.

Meanwhile in Sonic's houst hill thing, Amy felt a disturbance. "I have to leave for like 5 minutes". "K" Sonic said glad to take a beak from Amy fondeling his glorious black dick. Amy got in the cheese store car mobile and drove to the zoo. She looked in the hedgehog exhibit and saw her little experiment curled up in the corner. Blue with little red sneakers and hyper realistic, Amy, new Sonic was in the corner napping. "Soon" Amy said.

When she got back to the house, she found her seat was taken by Patver the Starhog. "Hey!" Amy said. "Get our you freak!". "No" said Patver. "I am not your bitch anymore" said the Patrick personality of the pair. "Woah!" calm down bro" said Chuckles the Enchilata. And since Knuckles is one damn hansome motherfucker, the hatred slowly fizzled away into a sibling rivalry. This will buind a friendly rivalry and slight conflict throughout the rest of the story.

Tight leather pants.


	13. Ok can stuff start happening now

R Boy got really fucking bored of watching the bleeding man play SSBB because he really fucking sucks at it, so he went to go make nachos. When he went to get the cheese from the FRIDGE, he found big the cat living in there.

"big what the fuck are you doing get the fuck out of here you dirty slut hoebitch make me a fucking sandwich i wanna live in the gettoh i'm sick of your shit i'm a waste of human resource i should die aah."

Bigh was just sort of confused so he left to whine to his lawyer and tv manager editor guy Vector. Big arrived at the tv thing but was suprised to find vector not eating Public Acess but running off to the house because he had enough time to checkhis craigslist thingy and saw the sonics notification and now he was at the sonic house being beaten by knuckles for leaving his shift early.

Now the team of 6 was rounded out with Sonic, Knuckles, Rivivi, Amy, Patver, and Vector. Naruto is gay so he is watching the house as I said before. So then they packed their bags and talked some contrived bandte and hopped in the cheese store car thing and began their quest to find Sonic's contact lense and save the bleeding man who turned uninvisible and started a wifi match with some people who beat him up in high school.


	14. Boo Got Shot By A Big Ol Gun

It took them like three months to find the damn contact lense. First Riviviviv got hungry because he was a zombie so they had to go to taco bell to feed his lazy ass, but then Patver was taken over for a little while by just Patrick. And then Patrick became post movie patrick so everyone hated him and sold him into slavery for as long as Patver's spirit will be broken by the white man. So they left taco bell to go to the other place where the contact lense to see the bleeding man which is the point of the story thus far.

Vector started eating the cheese store and got really mad at him Knuckles did so he locked him in the room that only plays christian radio metal at max volume. Just then, a giant fucking ELMER FUDd appeared out of thick air!111!1!11! ELMER FUDd used death eye and shot sonic, not killing him for some reason. Knuckles tried to use his giant man dick thrash attack, but it failed in a horrible manner. There was so much blood from Knuckles's dick pooring fucking everywhere, that ELER FUDd got distracted. Amy tried to attack, but was soon entranced by the araura borealis\meteor shower\Muse concert flying by in a bubble of conciousness above her that she had to take a blurry picture with a shitty filter and put it on Instagram.

Then, out of nowhere, the spirit of Gibby from The Butthole Surfers came out of nowhere and ate ELMER FUDd whole. "Here's lookin' at you, asswipe" he proclaimed as he floated away to the magical pot filled land he came from.

The near slaughter of all his friends and tearing of his dick made Knuckles want to appolagize to Vector. Sadly, Vector had slit his wrists long ago, blissfully unawhere of the anticlimactic battle raging before him. They put him in a box marked "SATANICALLY REGIVE LIVE TO L8R" and proceded onward to hopefully find two new partners to trplace the ones who had died or something.

After much carefull thought, they decded to make the incredibly short, convient, and cost effective trip to sonic universe pokemon planet thing which has all the pokemon in it like Blastoise, and Scrafty, and Blastoise, but Rvvvvvvvvvvvvv felt annoyed that they had not placed his good ol suicidal friend Jeffery in the satan box thing, so...

:):):):):))::):):):):)):):FILLER CHAPTER TIME:):):)):):):):):):):):)::):):))


	15. I started parkour today

REVIOKOgotleftatthetacobelllastchapterbythewaycooo oooool

R man v guy was at the Taco Bell still and bla bla last chapter expasition left to go find jeffery found jeffery cool k will hold him to return because bin shit intermission over FUCK YOU


	16. PARTY FUNNN

So sonic and crew went to fucking pokeland or whatever cool. Firstly, they killed a town of people and stole money they could not use in any realistic situation on their home planet. Next, they went to the club and soon left the club to add more words to the story and make me look more prefessional when I finally submit my black metal demos to producers despite me actually making deep house even though they will not read this.

They finally found a Scrafty in the desert place and Sonic cought it. Scrafty was his bitch now. They left the planet, proceded toards some mountains despite Sonic never going to them in his life, and Sonic realized that they were in his dresser the whole time ):):):):):):)):):):):):)):):):):):):):):):):)):):) :):):):):)):):):):)). OH FUCK YOU SONIC YOU MADE ME WRITE ALL THAt. If I rember correctly I already made the bleeding man visible so I won't have to write about that. They picked up a very pissed off Rixnvmdj and Patver, Patver in a long drawn out bullshitty chapter that I didn't feel like writing, Placed Jeffery in the ressurection bin, and went home. That somehow took them three months. Good.


	17. Neu!

K so Sonic and Knuckles and R Guy and Patver and Scrafty and Amy and the dead bodies of Vector and Jeffery were all at sonic's house now. Naruto imploded in on himself when he felt another golden tear thing pluck onto his shoulder. He is in a new plane of being now. So sonic after like 16 fucking years puts on his contact lense and discovers that the bleeding man is...Tails the guy.

Some may ask why the others didn't just tell sonic about this from when they walked in because the bleeding man or tbm for short or tails was already visable according to the canon. well I say shut the fuck up you prude.

So now it's tails. and then sonic's all like

BRO. YOU TAILS.

and tails is all like

YEAH BOIE.

and then they have a civilized discussion about what happened to tails to get here, and everyone else tries to contemplate what the fuck is going on.


End file.
